1. A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her baby
in the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, Lifted the
lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed
that there were several cabs —and I was in the wrong one..

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I
instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA

3. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, “How
long have you been bedridden?” After a look of complete confusion she
answered”Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.”

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR

4. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled
for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and
above it there was a tattoo that read, “Keep off the grass.. “Once the
surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient’s
dressing, which said, “Sorry, had to mow the lawn.”

Submitted by RN Anthony Links, Los Angeles, CA

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