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1. If they say they are John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

2. Say “No” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

3. For the less game, tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can’t sell to employees.

4. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, “Oh my God!” and then hang up.

5. The Classic Seinfeld response: Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers
cannot give out their home numbers say, “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The Telemarketer will agree and you say, “Me either!” Hang up.

6. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

7. Tell the Telemarketer, “Okay, I’ll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I’m not wearing any clothes.”

8. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Mike, playing a joke. “Come on, Mike, cut it out! Seriously, Mike, how’s it going man?”

9. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . louder . . . louder . . .

10. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

Add a Comment to tell us more ways to get rid of telemarketers!

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10) “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.” —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

9) “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000

8) “I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft.” —second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

7) “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

6) “You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.” —to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

5) “Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

4) “They misunderestimated me.” —Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

3) “Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?” —Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

2) “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

1) “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

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