A banker gets caught for embezzlement and is sent to jail. He is quite a little nerdy fella. He is escorted to his cell where he comes across a rather big black fella as his cellmate. The guards walk off and he is left alone with his new cellmate. His cellmate rises from his bed and is nearlly twice his height and twice his width. The nerdy banker gulps with fear. The big black fella asks in a deep voice “What do you want to be, the mummy or the daddy?” Trying to assert himself the nerdy guy replies ” Ummm I’ll be the daddy”. The big black fella replies “Well come over here and suck mummies cock”

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A man walks into a bar. On the bar sits a big jar of twenty dollar bills. The man asks the bartender,”What’s the deal with the jar of money?”

“Well”, the bartender says,”I’ve got a horse tied up in the stable out back. This horse has never laughed in his life. You put a twenty in the jar, then if you can make my horse laugh, You win all the money!”

The man puts his twenty in the jar, and goes out to the stable. He comes back just a few minutes later, and you can hear the horse laughing all the way inside. The man takes his money and leaves.

About a year later, he goes back to the bar, and they’ve got another jar of twenties there.

“What’s the deal now?” He asks.

“Well”,the bartender says,”That damn horse won’t stop laughing! So the first person who can make my horse stop laughing wins the money!”

The man pays his twenty, and goes out to the stable. He returns a few minutes later, and the horse is bawling his eyes out. He picks up his money and is about to leave when the bartender stops him.

“Alright”, he says,”You have won an awful lot of money from me and I want to know how you did it!!”

“Easy”, he says,”I made him laugh by saying mine was bigger than his, and I made him cry by proving it!!”

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Why can’t you take aspirin into the jungle?

Because the parrots-eat-them-all.

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How do you make a Hormone ? Stick it in her ass!

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