OpenSourceJokes.com » 2007

Put out fire with small bucket

Futility: uselessness as a consequence of having no practical result

Lets hope this guy has fire insurance as this place is going to burn to the ground.

Mexican Illegals burrito

America is forced to re-think its policy on Illegal immigrants from Mexico. What would life be without Burritos? Lucky America has no problems with France….. No French Fries? I think not.

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1. If they say they are John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

2. Say “No” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

3. For the less game, tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can’t sell to employees.

4. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, “Oh my God!” and then hang up.

5. The Classic Seinfeld response: Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers
cannot give out their home numbers say, “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The Telemarketer will agree and you say, “Me either!” Hang up.

6. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

7. Tell the Telemarketer, “Okay, I’ll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I’m not wearing any clothes.”

8. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Mike, playing a joke. “Come on, Mike, cut it out! Seriously, Mike, how’s it going man?”

9. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . louder . . . louder . . .

10. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

Add a Comment to tell us more ways to get rid of telemarketers!

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