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There was an Austrlian bloke who went to his local Doctor to talk about a problem he was having. He walks into the Docotors office and says in his stutter “DDDDDDD Doctor. IIIIII I hhhh have a problem. MMMMMM my dddddddd penis iiiiiis hhhhhhhh big. It iiiiiiiiiiiiii is rurururururururur ruining my llllllllll life.” So the doctor ask to have a look. The paitent unzips his pant and out rolls an incredibly large dick. The doctor says in amazement ” Sorry mate, not to sure about this I’m going to have to send you to a specialist in Sydney”

So off he goes to Sydney to see a specialist. He walks into the specialists office and says. “MMMMMMMM Doctor I HHHHHHH have aaaaaaaaaaa serious ppppppppp problem. IIIIIIIIIi have a llllllllllllll masive pppppppp cock. It’s mmmmmmmmmm making my llllllllll life unnnnnnnbearable”. The specialist says, “Well give me a look and I’ll see what I can do.” So he unzips his pants and out rolls his massive dick. The doc looks stunned and writes him out a referal to the world leading penis surgeon in the U.S.

So off he goes to the U.S.A. He arrives at the surgeons office and says “DDDDDDD Doc, yyyyyyyy you gotta hhhhhhhhelp me. My ccccccccc dick is mmmmmmmmmassive. MMMMMMM My life iiiiiiiiiiiis hhhhhhhhhorible because of iiiiiiiiiiiiit.” The Surgeon asks “Ok give me a look at your problem”. The man unzips his fly and out rolls his massive dddddddddd member. The surgeons says “ahh not a problem at all. This can be sorted with  a quick operation” and books him in for surgery.

About a year after his surgery the man decides to go back to the U.S and thank the surgeon because his life had become fantastic now. So he rocks up to the surgeons office and start to thank him by saying “Doc, my life is fantastic now. My sex life has improved dramatically, I’ve been promoted at work. Look even my stutter has gone. Thank you so much Doctor. And the doctor replies “NNNNNNNNNNNNN Not a ppppppppp problem”

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A banker gets caught for embezzlement and is sent to jail. He is quite a little nerdy fella. He is escorted to his cell where he comes across a rather big black fella as his cellmate. The guards walk off and he is left alone with his new cellmate. His cellmate rises from his bed and is nearlly twice his height and twice his width. The nerdy banker gulps with fear. The big black fella asks in a deep voice “What do you want to be, the mummy or the daddy?” Trying to assert himself the nerdy guy replies ” Ummm I’ll be the daddy”. The big black fella replies “Well come over here and suck mummies cock”

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A man walks into a bar. On the bar sits a big jar of twenty dollar bills. The man asks the bartender,”What’s the deal with the jar of money?”

“Well”, the bartender says,”I’ve got a horse tied up in the stable out back. This horse has never laughed in his life. You put a twenty in the jar, then if you can make my horse laugh, You win all the money!”

The man puts his twenty in the jar, and goes out to the stable. He comes back just a few minutes later, and you can hear the horse laughing all the way inside. The man takes his money and leaves.

About a year later, he goes back to the bar, and they’ve got another jar of twenties there.

“What’s the deal now?” He asks.

“Well”,the bartender says,”That damn horse won’t stop laughing! So the first person who can make my horse stop laughing wins the money!”

The man pays his twenty, and goes out to the stable. He returns a few minutes later, and the horse is bawling his eyes out. He picks up his money and is about to leave when the bartender stops him.

“Alright”, he says,”You have won an awful lot of money from me and I want to know how you did it!!”

“Easy”, he says,”I made him laugh by saying mine was bigger than his, and I made him cry by proving it!!”

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Why can’t you take aspirin into the jungle?

Because the parrots-eat-them-all.

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How do you make a Hormone ? Stick it in her ass!

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